My Two Cents!

From my earliest memories I attended “church” faithfully – but I wasn’t saved!
Early in life I believed that Jesus died on the cross for my sins and rose again on the 3rd day – but I wasn’t saved!
I asked Jesus into my heart and ask God to forgive my sins – but I wasn’t saved!
At age seven I had an experience in which I began to speak in tongues – but I wasn’t saved!
During “praise and worship,” I sang the songs with great zeal, and occasionally I would even dance – but I wasn’t saved!
Though fear prevented me from doing it often – I would occasionally stand out in front of Walmart and pass out “tracts” – but I wasn’t saved!
In high school I carried my Bible with me to class – but I wasn’t saved!
In high school I often endured persecution because of my “stand” – but I wasn’t saved!
Several times in life, I emptied my pockets in response to a “missionary’s” moving sermon – but I wasn’t saved!
At one time in life I sold nearly everything I had and gave up a dog I deeply loved and moved to a foreign land to share the “gospel” – but I wasn’t saved!
I made “ministry” my life and living as I devoted myself to sharing the “gospel” with children – but I wasn’t saved!
I would often rise before the sun in order to spend time in “prayer” – but I wasn’t saved!
Because of my beliefs and the assurance I had, I went through life with no fear of death. As well, I had no fear of standing before God on Judgment day. In fact, I looked very forward to the day in which I would begin my eternity with God – but I wasn’t saved!

In May of 2003, at 29 years of age, God called my name. He called me to give Him unwavering love, unwavering trust, and unwavering faithfulness. Not only did He ask for the following things to be unwavering, He also asked for them to be unconditional. He told me that I needed to give Him these things with no selfish motives. He told me not to give Him these things just because I wanted heaven and blessings, but He told me to give them to Him simply because He was worthy of them.

I heard His call and responded! I repented for all my years of wavering love, wavering trust, and wavering obedience. I repented for all my years of “serving” Him in order to gain His blessing. I then gave Him the things He asked from me (unwavering and unconditional love, trust, and faithfulness).

As a result, God was pleased! I now had God’s favor (or grace as it is called in scripture). As a result of his favor (grace) towards me, He gave me a gift. . . He made me His Son (through the gospel). And then. . . I WAS SAVED!

So what is the point? The point is this:

Do you feel saved? – So did I.
Do you have assurance of your salvation? – So did I.
Does your life bear fruit that others may consider good? – So did mine.
Are you confident that all will be well when you stand before God? – So was I.

Yes I was confident and assured; however, all my confidence and assurance was useless because it wasn’t based upon truth. Though I would have said that my confidence came from the word of God, in reality, my confidence came from the fact the millions of others believed what I did. My confidence came from the fact that my religion produced many incredible testimonies. My confidence came from the fact that I often felt what I believed to be joy during “worship services.” Since all of these things existed, I reasoned that I must be walking in truth. However all my reasoning was useless. The truth was that my religion was useless because it wasn’t based upon truth.

You can believe that two plus two equals five with all your heart, but your strong belief doesn’t make five the true total. You can get little goose bumps and burst of joy as you think of how two plus two equals five, but your goose-bumps don’t make it true. 5.9 billion people may believe that two plus two equal five, but the fact that five is the popular answer doesn’t make it truth. Just because mathematicians come to your school and tell moving stories about miracles happening as they taught others how two plus two equals five, doesn’t make it any closer to being truth. NO! Two plus two equal equals four. It will always equal four! It doesn’t matter how convinced you are that it equals five, the fact that you are convinced changes nothing. The truth still stands: two plus two equals four.

For 29 years, I sincerely believed the things I believed, but the things I believed were wrong. And because of this, they were powerless to affect my life. Fortunately, when God called my name, He called me to love the truth.

As my love for truth grew, I decided for a season to get rid of anything that could possibly be unrelated to truth. For a season of my life, I laid every book aside; I tuned out every “preacher;” and paid little attention to what others said. For that season, I learned from scripture alone. I trusted in nothing else. However, once that season was over, I found that I could not go back to the old sources of learning. When I tried, I found that my old sources were not completely based upon truth, and as a lover of truth, I wanted nothing to do with those who could tolerate untruth.

My love and hunger for truth, led me to the ultimate revelation that it was wrong to serve God for my own selfish agenda. My love for truth led me to the understanding that I was to give God unwavering love, trust, and faith. Had I not be “violent” regarding my pursuit of truth, I would have certainly given in to the warnings of those around me that I needed to take a step back and listen to the counsel of those wiser than I. However, how could I be certain that I was receiving wise counsel? The only place I knew for sure to find “wise council” was in scripture. So despite the disapproval of others, I continued to only let His word teach me. And His word didn’t lead me astray. It led me to a place of sincere repentance. It led me to a place of sincere faith towards God. It brought me to the place in which my life brought pleasure to God. And as a result, my love for truth brought me to the place in which I would become a son of God.

Dear Reader – ATTENTION PLEASE!! The Bible you claim to believe speaks of two outcomes. One is eternal life on the New Earth. The other is eternal death in the lake of fire. Have you ever really stopped to consider this? Have you ever thought about the consequences of standing before God and being found unfit for his kingdom? Have you ever allowed your mind to imagine unending darkness and unending pain? Tell me please! How can you believe that such an outcome exist and not scour the word of God night and day to make sure that that is not your outcome? How can you believe such a possible outcome exist and remain so apathetic regarding truth.

You can’t sincerely serve God just to avoid Hell. However, a good and healthy fear of Hell can be a good starting point. With such a real, terrible, and eternal possibility, would it not be wise to take a season and forget everything you’ve been taught. Would it not be wise to take a season and tune out every “preacher,” book, or anything else that could influence your belief of what is truth. Would it not be wise to pick up the word of God alone and passionately and violently pursue truth?

With Hope,
Jason Holman

The Worker - A True Story

Dear Guest,

The following was written nearly a year and a half ago. I posted it on my website at the time; however, I don't think many people had a chance to read it. For that reason, I am posting it again.

I hope you will take time to read this. However, I hope you will be able to read it with your full attention. If you are not able to give it your full attention at this time, then please put off reading it for now.

Thanks,

Jason Holman

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The Worker

Written:March 2009

At this same time six years ago, I was on staff at a larger Assemblies of God “church” (700 – 800 people). I was a full-time “children’s pastor” who believed in what he was doing. Even though I often got caught up in and sidetracked by the general business of “church” life, at my core I sincerely wanted to make a difference in the lives of the children I came in contact with each week. I wanted them to understand and believe the “gospel” I believed, and with this goal in mind, I would often teach them the basics of that “gospel.”

Whenever I taught the children the basics of this “gospel,” I started by telling them that we are all sinners. I simplified this by saying that this meant we had broken God’s rules. I then told them that since we had broken God’s rules, we should, as a result, be punished. I explained that because God was completely just, he could not simply overlook our sins. I proceeded to tell the children that the punishment for our sins is death and separation from God in hell for all eternity.

After that portion of my lesson, I pointed out that that was some very bad news. With the foundation of “bad news” laid, I then proceeded to tell them the news I considered to be good.

The “good news” consisted of the belief that God loved us and didn’t want to punish us. I explained to the children that because God loved us, he came to earth and took the punishment for our sins himself by dying on the cross through his only Son Jesus. I then told them some details about the crucifixion of Jesus and followed up with the good news of his resurrection.

After this, I told the children that they could receive the benefit of having their sins forgiven by believing in Jesus and accepting his free gift of salvation. I encouraged the children who wanted to receive this “free gift” to repeat a prayer that I would lead them in. This prayer usually consisted of telling Jesus that we recognized we were sinners deserving of punishment. We then ask him to forgive us of our sins and told him that we wanted to receive him and his gift of “salvation.” We ended the prayer by asking Jesus to help us live for him all the days of our lives.

Once we were finished with the prayer time, I usually proceeded to tell the children that they needed to be faithful to pray and read their Bibles every day. Also, I stressed the importance of attending “church” so that they could grow and remain strong in their faith.

Finally, I told them that they should do their best not to sin, but along with this mandate, I also let them know that we all mess up from time to time. I explained that the important thing was to tell Jesus we were sorry and to do our best not to do the same thing again.

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Even though it was fairly brief, in a nutshell you just read the message that I taught and the message that I believed. And yes! I really did believe it.

Throughout most of my life, despite my best effort to resist sin, the sin of lust seemed to have a constant hold on me. With my awareness of that sin, as well as the awareness of some of my less noticeable sins, I knew that I was a guilty man in need of forgiveness. For this reason, I strongly believed and held on to the “gospel” I had come to know throughout my life.

My belief and confidence in this “gospel” was so strong that I had no fear of death or judgment. I fully believed that on the Day of Judgment I would have a clean slate before God because the punishment for my sins had already been paid for through the death of Jesus on the cross. I believed that because of God’s love for me and because of the death of Jesus on the cross, I would certainly be with God in heaven for all eternity. With these beliefs and convictions, I would have gone to my grave, but then…something happened:

In May of 2003, the Great and Mighty Creator of the Universe called my name. He said, “Jason, come follow me!” And so...I followed.

As I followed, the One whom I was following began to speak to me. He began to show me the error of my way. He told me that I was doing wrong in that I attempted to serve Him only because I wanted to avoid punishment (hell) and receive his gifts – mainly eternal life and rewards in heaven. He told me that I should serve Him not because I wanted his goodies; instead, He told me that I should serve Him simply because He is the Great, Mighty and Wise Creator of the World. He told me that I needed to repent and start giving Him all my love and loyalty without regard to what came of my soul in the end. And so: I repented.

After I repented, I grabbed my new Master as tight as I could and expressed to Him the new love and devotion I had for Him. As we walked close together, I looked down the path we were traveling, and from what I could see, it looked like a wonderful path to follow. Assuming that we would continue on this wonderful path, I grabbed hold of my God even tighter and promised that I would follow, love and obey Him for the rest of my existence no matter where he took me or what he asked of me. After I made this profession of faith and love, He looked at me and asked if I really meant it. Looking even further down the wonderful path we were on, I squeezed his arm as tight as I could and said without wavering that I meant every word of it. He then, to my surprise, stopped and changed directions. Because of the sudden change, I found myself staring down a path I didn’t want to travel. It was at this point I heard His voice, and it said, “Will you follow me down this path?”

At that moment, I entered into the greatest struggle of my life. It was so easy to profess my love and allegiance to God when it meant doing things my heart wanted to do and going places my heart wanted to go, but as I faced this undesirable path, I found it wasn’t so easy. So for several days, we stood at this crossroad as I wrestled with my heart and will. While I couldn’t even consider walking away from the One I vowed to love and obey, I also couldn’t get my feet to take the first step down this new path.

Thankfully, the One I was following showed great patience with me. He waited by my side. Not only did He wait, but he also continued to talk to me. He continued to tell me about Himself. He shared with me His wisdom and his goodness. And finally, after several days of standing still, a light clicked inside my soul.

As this light clicked, my love and commitment toward my Leader seemed to multiply a hundredfold. When this happened, the apprehension I had of following Him down the path in question disappeared and it was replaced with joy. I then wanted to follow Him down the new path as much as I did our original path simply because I knew that I would be doing His will. Because of my strengthened love and trust for him, just the thought of doing His will brought joy. My circumstances no longer mattered. My joy was no longer in my circumstances; instead, my joy was in knowing that I was doing what my God wanted me to do.

With this new joy, my heart burst forth with words that rushed past my lips, and I said, “Yes! Yes! I will most certainly follow you down this path and any other path you choose for me – no matter what it looks like.” And, I meant it!

So with a spring in my step, I began to move forward down the new path when, to my surprise, my Lord stopped me; then He turned once again towards our original path and said, “Let’s go.”

It was then that The One I loved said with delight, “You passed the test dear child! You passed the test!” He explained that He had no intention of taking me down that path, but that He was only testing the sincerity of the love and loyalty I professed to have for Him. Then He said once again: “You passed! You love and obey me not because you are seeking your own personal gain, but you love and obey me because you sincerely want to please me and bring me pleasure. And dear child, rest assured; your sincere love for me brings me great pleasure.”

It was shortly after this that The One I was following proceeded to do something wonderful. He gave me a gift. He gave me the gift of son-ship. Through His own divine plan, he took this once rebellious and sinful man and made me His son – a son who would bear the same righteous nature as his Father, and – a son who would eventually be conformed to the image of his Father.

Foolishly, because I had been taught to believe so, I spent most of my life believing I already possessed this gift; however, once I possessed the real thing, it became quite clear that all I had really possessed up until then was a worthless counterfeit.

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Dear reader, this which I just related you to is the truth. Though the terms I used may have been somewhat allegorical, the event itself and the final outcome were very real. God made me his son.

When I turned to God with sincere love and loyalty, God for the first time in my life took pleasure in me. Because God found pleasure and delight in me, He wanted to do good things for me (just as many parents are compelled to do something good for a child who is loving and obedient). As a result of His desire to do good things for me, He did the best thing imaginable; he adopted me to be his son.

[Authors Note: The following description is going to be very brief. Also, it will not contain much scripture to establish it. However, I do have another writing available in which these things are explained with greater detail and supporting scripture.]

He accomplished this by bringing me to His Son Jesus. And just as I gave God my sincere love and devotion, I gave it to His Son as well. Once the Son saw my sincere love and trust towards him, he was also pleased. Because of the pleasure he had towards me he took me to be “bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh” (Genesis 2:22-24 & Ephesians 5:29-32).

Through this miracle of being married to Christ (this is more commonly referred to in scripture as being “baptized into Christ”), I took part in his death upon the cross, I also took part in his burial and finally, I took part in his resurrection.

Through my death with Christ upon the cross, I was set free from my bondage to Satan.

My bondage to Satan existed because I was born into this world as a son of Adam. Because Adam willingly defected to the devil’s kingdom, he brought all his children into the same bondage. This was the bondage I was born into.

It was because of this bondage that I so often struggled with and gave in to sin. No matter how strong my determination may have been in the past to not give in to certain sins, Satan, who rightfully held me in his possession, would crack his whip on my shoulders until I could stand it no longer. Finally, my resolve would break, and I would end up doing that which I did not want to do.

But through the miracle of marriage to Christ, I died with Christ. And by dying with Christ, I gained freedom from my bondage to Satan (for how can someone own you when you are dead?).

Not only did my death with Christ provide my freedom from my bondage to Satan, but in addition to this, my death with Christ also enabled the penalty for my sins to be paid.

God in no way became unjust by ignoring the many offences I committed during my years under Satan’s yoke. But instead, he punished my fully through my death with Christ. Though it was Jesus who felt the pain of the cross and death, it was my sins that were actually being paid for in that process. For through my marriage to Christ, I truly died with him and went to the grave with him. Because of this, the penalty for my sins was completely paid, and with my sins now paid for, I could join Christ in his resurrection.

Because Christ himself had never sinned, God could not rightfully leave him in the chains of death. So therefore, three days later, God raised Jesus from the dead.

As God raised Jesus from the dead, He declared, “Thou art my Son; this day have I begotten thee (Psalm 2:7, Act 13:33, Hebrews 1:5 & 5:5).” It is through this declaration, that I too became a son of God. For when Christ was raised from the dead, through the miracle of being married to Christ, I was also raised with him. Because I am one with Christ, when God declared Jesus to be His Son, I too was declared to be a son of God.

As I was raised with Christ and became a son of God, I received the same Spirit (or nature) as my Father. Because I have His nature, my life now naturally produces fruit that is pleasing to Him.

And so it happened, Jason Holman was born again. I was born into the world as a son of Adam. Later through the miracle of being baptized into Christ (or married to), I went to the cross with Christ and died. I then joined Christ in his resurrection. At that time, I was born again. No longer am I a son of Adam, but now I am a son of God.

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If what I just wrote is true (which it certainly is), then a good question to ask is this: why did it take 29 years for this to happen? After all, those of you who knew me well in years past know that I spent as much time (if not more) in “church” as any other person. I spent countless hours in Sunday School, Sunday morning worship services, Sunday evening worship services, Royal Ranger programs, kid’s crusade services, revival services, youth services, and…etc,etc,etc. And not only did I attend all of this, I also took it very serious. I longed for the things of God (or so I thought). I took the sermons to heart. I prayed the prayers I was supposed to pray. I did everything I was taught to do. And yet, I find out 30 years later that I had lived my life as a son of Adam and had not been “born again.” How could this have possibly happened?

Actually, the answer is to this question is quite simple; however, before I proceed with the answer, I really want to encourage you who are reading this to take your time as you read the last portion of this writing. If what I am about to write is true, then everything we (or at least I) have ever been taught is nothing but useless ideas. I don’t ask or expect you to believe what I am about say, but I do hope you will at least take time to fully digest what I am saying. Now back to the question at hand.

The reason I spent 29 years of my life without receiving the gift of son-ship and salvation, is because God did not choose to give it to me. Since God did not choose to give it to me, there was no other way for me to obtain it.

The gift of becoming God’s son is just that – a gift. The holder of the gift is God, and because He holds the gift, He is the one who gets to choose who to and who not to give it to.

Based upon scripture, I now understand that God will not give this gift unless His heart desires to do so. If someone asks God for the gift, and God has no pleasure in that person, it is certain that such a person has no hope of obtaining that gift. One who desires God’s gift can do anything and everything in hope of convincing God to give him the gift, but unless God is pleased with this person, his efforts are in vain. God will only give His gifts when He desires to do so [This is what it means to be saved by “grace.” “Grace” means “favor.” A person will only be given the gift of salvation if God has “grace” (or favor) towards that person.]

For 29 years, God did not give me His gift because He had no pleasure in me. The reason He had no pleasure in me, is because I had no faith towards Him. Hebrews 11:6 confirms this by saying: Without faith, it is impossible to please Him (or bring him pleasure).

Did I believe in God? Absolutely! But this was not faith (though a person who has faith will certainly believe in God). Did I believe that Jesus was the Son of God who died on a cross and rose again? Sure I did! But once again, this was not faith (though a person who has faith will believe this). Did I try to align my life with the teaching of scripture? Yes! Sometimes I even did this with incredible zeal, but that was not faith (though a person of faith will certainly do this, too).

I have done many things for God during my life time. However, in the end I found that God still had no pleasure in me. I can now see that His dissatisfaction with me was very justifiable. For though I couldn’t exactly discern my motives; He could. He saw that I did not come to Him in faith, but instead, I came to Him as a worker who was expecting payment later on. Let me explain. . .

At some point recently, many of you who are reading this went to “work.” What I mean is, you went and performed a certain task for a company or individual with the expectation of being paid at a later time.

It’s unlikely that you go to your place of employment every day simply because you love your boss. And even if you do love your boss, I imagine that if he quit paying you for your service then you would quit performing the task that you perform.

You see? You’re not getting up every morning and driving through rush hour because you are fond of your boss; instead, you are getting up and driving through rush hour every morning because you have hopes of getting paid. Therefore, you are going to “work.” For thirty years, this is exactly how I served God.

From my earliest memories, I sincerely believed what my parents and teachers taught me about there being an eternal hell and an eternal heaven. Naturally, with such a sincere belief, I very much wanted to go to heaven, and I very much wanted to not be sent to hell. Because of this desire, I whole heartedly embraced what I was taught, which was that if I wanted to go to heaven then I needed to believe in Jesus. I was taught that I needed to believe that he died for my sins and that he rose from the dead. I was taught that believing these facts was faith, and that God was pleased when I had this faith.

And so, from my earliest memories, I believed. I believed that Jesus died for me, and I believed that he rose again. In addition to this, I did the things that I thought “Christians” were supposed to do, and just the same, I did my best to abstain from the things a “Christian” was not supposed to do.

For years I lived this way, and I took it serious all along. And though I wasn’t sinless, I was very confident that my appearance before God would be a pleasant one because of what I believed. I never doubted for a second that all was well between me and God. But later I would learn just how wrong I was. For everything I did and believed was not associated with faith at all, but instead, it was nothing but work.

How was it work? Simple! It was work because I only believed the things I believed and did the things I did so I could be paid for it with eternal life in the end. I was doing something to get something. Pure love and devotion to God was not my motive, but instead, my motive was my own selfish expectation of payment. Because of this, God had nothing for me at all, for the gifts of God cannot be obtained because someone works for them. God does not bargain with people like that. A man can only receive something from God because God chooses to give that something to someone. Apart from God choosing to give that gift to someone, there is no other way it may be obtained. It cannot be obtained by believing facts. It cannot be obtained by obeying every word of scripture. It can only be obtained because God desired to give it to you. And the scripture is very clear that the only thing that compels God to give his gifts to anyone is Him perceiving faith in that someone.

So what is “faith” in the context of all of scripture? It’s simply recognizing that God is God. It’s recognizing that as “God,” He is worthy of your complete and unwavering love, trust, and loyalty and as a result, giving him these things. If you truly have faith, then you are not doing these things to avoid hell, nor are you doing them to gain heaven, but instead, you are doing them just because you realize that as the wonderful God He is, He is worthy of these things.

This is faith. And when someone has this faith, God takes notice. Not only does he take notice, but he receives great joy and pleasure from that someone’s faith. And in response to his joy and pleasure, He will bless this person with the greatest gift imaginable – he will make this person His son and heir.

For 29 years I worked for Him. I believed what I was supposed to believe and did what I was supposed to do thinking that He would reward my decisions and actions with eternal life and rewards. However, He had no pleasure in me. To Him, I was nothing but a greedy little beast who was trying to obtain God’s gifts with cheap little deeds.

Fortunately for me, a day came in which God showed me my error. A day came in which He called me to love and serve Him for no other reason except the fact that He was worthy of my love and service. And as He called, I answered. I ceased worrying about my eternal outcome and began chasing after Him for the sole purpose of bringing Him pleasure. I came to a place in which I was able to honestly say, “God, if I serve you my whole life and you choose to send me to hell in the end, so be it. The only thing I want is for your will to be done.”

And then it happened: He was pleased with me, and I found favor (or grace) in His sight. Because of God’s grace towards me, He gave me the gift of all gifts.

There is no lie in what I just said. It is the truth. It is what the whole context of scripture teaches. It is the way that I became God’s child, and it was the way that every other child of God has come to be His child. But despite this fact, in every corner of the world, next Sunday untold millions of people are going to gather in various locations to hear various “teachers” and “preachers” tell them that they can have the gifts of God simply by sincerely believing certain facts and doing certain things. Though the details will vary from place to place, the central teaching that they can obtain son-ship and eternal life by believing the facts of what Jesus did on the cross will remain the same.

In response to this, some unsuspecting soul is going to respond to this teaching. The will admit that they are a sinner in need of forgiveness, and they will confess that Jesus died for them and rose from the dead. In addition to this, they will commit to reading scripture so that they can live their lives according to its teachings.

When this is said and done, those around this unsuspecting soul will pat him on the back and congratulate him on his wonderful decision. The unsuspecting soul will then return home all smiles thinking that he escaped hell and gained eternal life in heaven. However, in all of this, God is not smiling. For all that God sees is just another greedy person trying to obtain His goodies by a cheap act that deluded people call “placing faith in Christ.”

Now, I believe it is worth asking: how can this be? How can the institution that is supposed to belong to God, miss it so bad? I mean we are not talking about some non-essential doctrine here, but instead, we are talking about the very foundation of God’s kingdom. And it’s not just this generation that has missed it, but you can trace this flaw back to the very earliest “Christian” writings that exist outside of scripture. How could God let this happen to His “church?”

The answer to that question is really surprisingly simple; however, at this moment, that is not the important question to ask. The important question is this: are you working for God or are you coming to Him because you love Him for who He is.

May you find time to get alone to honestly examine your heart and motives. For if you are working for God, then you are wasting your time. He will not bargain. When you later approach Him to receive your payment, you will find that He has nothing for you. His gifts are just that – gifts. He only gives them to those He has pleasure in – those who trust and obey Him for no other reason than the simple fact that they love Him. Does God have pleasure in you?

With sincere hope and love for all of God’s elect,

Jason Holman

About a Previous Post!

The following is a letter I recently sent to my brother. I am posting this here because it relates to another post I made nearly a year ago. Here is the link to the post that the following post relates to. jasonholman.blogspot.com/2009/09/are-tough-times-coming.html

Dale,

I am writing in regards to the emails we exchanged nearly one year ago.

Nearly one year ago, you sent me an email with the subject “Times Will Get Tough.” I later sent you a response. In the response I sent you, I spoke of things that I felt certain would soon come to pass. In the response, I gave a time frame in which I believed these things would come to pass. If you remember, I said that these things would be coming to pass in a matter of months and quite possibly even weeks. Well, as you can see, I was incorrect in my time table. Because of this, I feel I have an obligation to write and take ownership of that mistake.

Throughout my time on this earth, I have often been amazed at how many men make predictions that fail to come to pass. Once the prediction proves false, you wait to see how the false predictor will respond, only to find that they never mention their failure. Instead, they just ignore it as if it never happened. Personally, I have always found such actions rather cowardly and deceptive. Because of this, I feel that I need to write and take ownership for my missed prediction.

I suppose I could argue and say that by saying “months” I meant it could be many months (as in 24, 36, etc.), however, to do so would be a lie. Because when I said months, I truly believed that it wouldn’t be any more than three or four. Because of this error, I must say that I was wrong. I was wrong to make an absolute statement about something that God did not speak to me in an absolute manner.

Typically, I am not one to speak such things. However, at that time in my life, there was no doubt whatsoever that we were only months away from our home going. While God never directly told me that we would be going home before the end of 2009, he certainly let my heart believe it. He didn’t do this to deceive us, or make fools of us; instead he did it to bring us to the position that he wanted us to be in. Because of our belief that our time was very short, we made decisions that we probably wouldn’t have made otherwise. And though at times I am tempted to feel like a fool for some of our decision, I shouldn’t do this because I can clearly see that we are at the exact place our Father wants us to be.

This great confidence that we would be going home before the end of 2009 began just a few years earlier. It was in May of 2003 that God called me to follow Him (though I didn’t really recognize what was happening at the time). A few months later he saved me through His gospel and made me his son. Then, through His Spirit that was in me, He began to teach me through His word for the next couple of years. At the end of those two years, my learning reached a climax, at which time God compelled me to write the book (or letter) that I sent to you and several others at the time.

After writing the book/letter, the word of God grew very silent for a time. Though I still found comfort in reading it, there were no new revelations. This continued for several months. But then, shortly after moving to Joplin at the end of 2006, God once again began to speak through his word. This time, he began to teach me about times and seasons. It was during this time that He taught me that his kingdom had entered a new and final season. It was a season that would immediately precede the return of his Son. Needless to say, this was a very exciting season of learning. Up until that time, I really had no idea as to the time frame in which the saints would be caught up in the air, but this season of learning revealed that we were/are quite close.

Though I certainly can’t say that God told me so, I will say that he let me strongly believe that 3 years was the maximum amount of time we would have to wait for that great event. This belief wasn’t nurtured by scripture so much, but rather a whole lot of circumstantial evidence. Because of this evidence, I was very confident that 2009 would be our final year. One of the pieces of circumstantial evidence was the arrival of your email that spoke about tough times coming. I’m still not sure as to whether or not the arrival of your email was an important sign from God, or if it was just one of the biggest coincidences of my life. However, on the day it arrived, it was received as nothing less than an indication that we would not be on this earth much longer. Let me explain…

As you can imagine, because of our belief that 2009 would be our last year of waiting, each day of 2009 came and went with much anticipation. Every night I went to bed wondering if I would wake up to be with my Lord, and every morning I awoke wondering if that day could be the day in which the great trumpet would sound. This was pretty much the norm in my life for much of 2009.

In June of 2009 something interesting happened. On Saturday night, June 6th, I decided to sleep outside on our trampoline. On Sunday morning, June 7th, I woke up after hearing the words “98 days.” Now, I am pretty sure that I didn’t actually hear this audibly, but it was in a very strong fashion that made a strong impression on me. While I didn’t make a huge deal out of it, I did mention it to my family. I also counted up on the calendar 98 days and arrived at September 13th. I put a little note on the calendar.

As the days went by, I couldn’t help but be a little bit curious by that date. While I tried to blow it off as nothing but my imagination, it wasn’t real easy to do. The number just seemed too real to ignore. I eventually came up with three scenarios as to what might happen on that day. The first scenario was that nothing would happen. The day would pass without event and prove that there was nothing to the number that I heard in my head. The second scenario was that September 13 would be the day of the great trumpet. While this was an exciting thought, I didn’t really consider it to be likely. According to scripture, it seemed unlikely that God would tell anyone the exact day of this wonderful event. The third scenario I thought of was that September 13 would signal our entrance into the last, few, final days before our Lord returned. If this was the case, then I felt that something significant would happen that day to let me know that that was the case.

Well, the day finally came, but despite my anticipation, nothing seemed to happen. By all appearances the day went by without event. At first I was disappointed and felt a little bit foolish. I shared my disappointment, confusion, and feeling of foolishness with the Lord. I then took some time to read scripture. I read Romans 8. As I read Romans 8, I realized how real, wonderful, and true everything I believed and was a part of really was. I came to accept that even if I was off track regarding my understanding of this final season of time, I knew that I was at least on track with all the other essentials. And for that moment, that was enough. A sincere peace filled my soul.

Though it was still early (before 9 pm), feeling emotionally drained, I went to bed. After going to bed, I laid there for a little while enjoying the great peace that was in my heart. However, after about 15 minutes, Karen came into the room to get me. She told me that I had an email from you.

I can’t lie, I immediately realized the date on which your email arrived. Realizing the date, I was very curious to see if it would say anything that would relate to the things we were believing about our soon coming Lord. I didn’t take long to see that it did. As I read your words that expressed your belief that tough times were coming, I couldn’t help but be excited and receive your letter as the sign I was hoping for that September 13 marked our entrance into the last few, final days before the great trumpet. To me the coincidence was just too great (after all, nearly three years had passed since our last communication).

Because of this sudden assurance, I felt confident to write to you and express that terrible times were coming in the month ahead. Though, I realized the potential to look foolish if I was wrong, I didn’t really consider that outcome a possibility. I knew that I knew that shortly we would be called off the earth so that God could unleash a great punishment against the institution that falsely calls herself the church.

Obviously, I was wrong on my time frame. While the things I wrote about will still come to pass. I certainly cannot give a time frame in which they will. It could be tomorrow, or it could be ten years from now. I am just not sure. According to scripture is has to be fairly soon. But in light of the fact that the Bible covers six thousand years of history, who can exactly say what “soon” is.

I must admit, I am still a little bit puzzled by the arrival of your email on September 13. I know God had His hand in it, but I am not sure why. Maybe he was just sending comfort to someone who was disappointed and confused. Or maybe we truly did enter into our last few days, only my idea of a few is much smaller that His idea of a few. I really don’t know. I do know this; I will continue to follow regardless of how many days pass until I hear the trumpet sound.

Jason

Promises!

Many years ago, an old and childless man had and encounter with God. Within that encounter, God told the man that he would have a son. The Bible tells us that the man believed God. And so it was that great joy and excitement must have filled his heart. Though some may find this embarrassing to read, I can’t help but imagine that the man immediately ran to his wife in order to do their part to bring the promise to pass. It is likely that several months of exciting passion followed, knowing that each encounter could be the one that would make the promise of God a reality.

How discouraging it must have been for Abraham as he waited for his wife to give him the word that the promise was on the way. Every day he would look to her to see if she was glowing, but each day he only saw her countenance grow dimmer with discouragement.

Though I don’t want to accuse Abraham of thoughts he didn’t have, I can imagine that he quite likely began to question his encounters with God. While I don’t believe that Abraham actually questioned God and His faithfulness, I do believe that it was likely that he questioned himself. I believe that it is likely that he questioned if it was all just a dream. Or maybe he wondered if he misunderstood what God had said. Regardless, I am sure that many discouraging years followed those first few exciting months after the promise was made.

Despite Abraham’s discouragement, God’s plan was still intact. God was not slothful or forgetful, but instead, He knew exactly when He would bring His promise to pass. Though Abraham expected a child immediately, God knew quite well that many years must pass before the time would be right. And so it was that many years later (at least 14 years after the promise was made) a discouraged Abraham and Sarah found themselves holding a fulfilled promise. And though the delay was certainly discouraging, I am sure that it made joy of that moment much greater.

Here I sit to day finding great comfort in this story. It is good to see that God often takes a little longer that we think He will to fulfill a promise.

Nearly four years ago, God opened up his word and taught me something wonderful. He taught me that his Kingdom had entered a new season. However, it wasn’t just any “new season”, but it was the season that would immediately proceed the sounding of the great trumpet that would be the signal for his angels to go and gather His children from the four corners of the earth. This was great news for me, for up until that point, I had no reason to hope that that event was in the near future. But with the understanding He gave me, I was filled with hope and excitement that it could be any day.

This new understanding brought joy, but it also brought a sense of obligation to write and warn others that the window of time in which they could find truth was closing. It was a very exciting time in my life. I felt urgency, and boldness as I had never felt before. I even started a website so I could have an outlet for all I was learning (makewayfortheking.com – no longer on line).

Though God never told me so directly, for various reasons, I came to strongly believe that this great event would happen within three years. If I was right, then that meant that this great event would happen sometime before 2009 was over.

Well, time went by, and our hope didn’t dim. Though the evidence was completely circumstantial (as opposed to scriptural) there was enough of it to make our belief about 2009 being our final year even stronger. Some of this evidence was even quite extraordinary.

Well, as you can see, we are well beyond 2009. And though this year has been good to us, I must admit that I have had moments of discouragement. While I know that my learning about a new and final season was correct, I can’t help but feel at timesl as if God has forgotten about His promise to take us home. For this reason, I am thankful for stories like the one about Abraham. This story is a good reminder that God will keep His promise, but that He will keep it according to His wise time table and not my own.

God is very wise. And despite my discouragement, I can clearly see His wisdom. Though I strongly long to go home, I am very glad that we are still here. Since entering 2010, I have gotten to see my children grow in knowledge and understanding as I never imagined. If He would have taken us home according to my time table, I would have missed seeing this.

So how much longer will we have to walk this earth? I really don’t care to venture a guess. Based upon what He taught me, it has to be fairly soon. But what is soon in regards to a story that has been in motion for 6000 years. For 6000 years this season we are now in has been prophesied about and looked forward to. Is it likely that this season will only last 3-4 years? When put into that perspective, I realize that it could maybe take just a little longer that I originally expected.

Though I don't know how long I will have to walk this road, I do know that I will walk with confidence that my God will keep his promise. I as walk this road, I will continue to examine my heart so that I can fully reflect the son of God through whom I was saved. I will also, continue to diligently lead and teach my family regarding the things that matter most. And occasionally, if time allows, I just may continue to write and proclaim what I know to be true.