Dear Father,
Thank you for helping me pass the time as I wait for the return of your Son.
Though it is now very clear to me that my website will not play any part in your kingdom, I am very thankful to you for allowing me to have it. It helps keeps me occupied as I wait for the return of your Son, and it also provides an “outlet” for all the wonderful things that are stored up inside of me.
At the beginning of this year, I was in misery as I waited for the return of your Son. I was incredibly board, and I also felt incredible lonely and isolated. In my misery I cried out to you, and thankfully you heard my cry. For it wasn’t long after I cried out to you that you compelled me to once again start my website.
I must admit that as I began to work on my website I was filled with great excitement. I felt that I was possibly doing something important for your kingdom. But as the days have passed by, I can now see that that is not the case. Instead, it appears that my website only exist as a means of keeping me busy as I wait for you.
I want you to know that I am in no way disappointed. Instead, I am very thankful to you for showing me this kindness. For the past couple of months have been enjoyable and they have passed by really fast. I realize that such seasons do not last forever, but I am thankful to you for them while they last.
I look very forward to the day that I no longer need a means of passing the time. I look forward to the day when my hope is finally fulfilled. I look forward to the day that I look up to the sky and see your Son. For it is then that my waiting will be over. It is then that I will be home and my life can finally begin.
Oh how I long for that day!
You son,
Jason
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Throwing in the Towel? - Not yet!
Last night I was very discouraged. I was once again overwhelmed with a sense of futility regarding all my effort. I just finished writing something that I had been working on for a while and was initially excited about sharing it. But at some point between completing it and sharing it, I began to feel very doubtful that anyone would actually take the time to read it. Despite the fact that the things I write are very wonderful and exciting to me, I also realize that to many, they are nothing but more dull opinion on spiritual matters. Last night, this realization almost overwhelmed me to the point of just calling it quits.
However, in the midst of this, my wife in her wisdom told me that maybe I was just tired. She suggested I go to bed and get a good night sleep. Realizing that she might be right, I went to bed. As I was trying to go to sleep, my wife began to read from 1st Corinthians to me. For the most part, I was completely out-of-it during her reading. I'm not really sure whether I was drifting in and out of sleep or whether I was just day dreaming. All I know for sure is that I heard basically nothing until she read that last verse of chapter 15 which says: Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye stedfast, unmoveable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, forasmuch as ye know that your labour is not in vain in the Lord.
While I can't say that this was a specific message from God to motivate me to keep going (for I can't even promise you that it is God who is motivating me to do this in the first place), I can say that I was encouraged to do just that. I was suddenly renewed with a new desire and commitment to keep pressing forward. And so, once again, that is what I am doing. While a day may come in which I throw in the towel, it is at least not today.
And with that said, I can now say that today was a pretty good day. I posted my most recent writing on a couple of "Christian" forums and I received a few very encouraging responses. They were encouraging because they seemed to indicate that the reader really comprehended what I was saying. And trust me; that is a very rare thing. While it remains to be seen what comes of the people who sent me the responses, it was at least a very timely boost that I was glad to receive.
However, in the midst of this, my wife in her wisdom told me that maybe I was just tired. She suggested I go to bed and get a good night sleep. Realizing that she might be right, I went to bed. As I was trying to go to sleep, my wife began to read from 1st Corinthians to me. For the most part, I was completely out-of-it during her reading. I'm not really sure whether I was drifting in and out of sleep or whether I was just day dreaming. All I know for sure is that I heard basically nothing until she read that last verse of chapter 15 which says: Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye stedfast, unmoveable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, forasmuch as ye know that your labour is not in vain in the Lord.
While I can't say that this was a specific message from God to motivate me to keep going (for I can't even promise you that it is God who is motivating me to do this in the first place), I can say that I was encouraged to do just that. I was suddenly renewed with a new desire and commitment to keep pressing forward. And so, once again, that is what I am doing. While a day may come in which I throw in the towel, it is at least not today.
And with that said, I can now say that today was a pretty good day. I posted my most recent writing on a couple of "Christian" forums and I received a few very encouraging responses. They were encouraging because they seemed to indicate that the reader really comprehended what I was saying. And trust me; that is a very rare thing. While it remains to be seen what comes of the people who sent me the responses, it was at least a very timely boost that I was glad to receive.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Busy
It has been almost non stop for the past couple of weeks.
I rebuilt my website, and I finally got it back on line today.
My voice recorder arrived last Friday, and I've already gotten some use out of it in regards to my website.
I still have a million things to do. I have some writings I need to finish. I have a video I would like to make. And I have some audio recording I would like to do. One way or another, I am going to speak the truth that I know.
How different things now are from the first of the year. At that time I was bored silly and yearning to go home. But for the past month, I have been anything but bored. And though I still of course long for home, I feel that I can wait a while if I just have a chance to speak the truth I know.
How good these days are! I hope they last.
Edit: Oh yeah, I almost forgot. We finally got a high speed internet connection. Since we live a little ways out of town, DSL has not been an option for us. However, we recently learned about a high speed service that uses radio towers to transfer internet service. It works great! It is actually a little faster than the DSL service we used to have. Though it's a little bit more expensive than the service we used to have, it is well worth it.
I rebuilt my website, and I finally got it back on line today.
My voice recorder arrived last Friday, and I've already gotten some use out of it in regards to my website.
I still have a million things to do. I have some writings I need to finish. I have a video I would like to make. And I have some audio recording I would like to do. One way or another, I am going to speak the truth that I know.
How different things now are from the first of the year. At that time I was bored silly and yearning to go home. But for the past month, I have been anything but bored. And though I still of course long for home, I feel that I can wait a while if I just have a chance to speak the truth I know.
How good these days are! I hope they last.
Edit: Oh yeah, I almost forgot. We finally got a high speed internet connection. Since we live a little ways out of town, DSL has not been an option for us. However, we recently learned about a high speed service that uses radio towers to transfer internet service. It works great! It is actually a little faster than the DSL service we used to have. Though it's a little bit more expensive than the service we used to have, it is well worth it.
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